My Blog

parenthood

Raising Creative Problem-Solvers

Do you constantly referee children's disagreements? Do you tend to side with one child, frustrating the other? Or do you offer solutions, only to be ignored? If you're nodding in response to any of these questions, this will help...

The scenario:

My 4.5-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son share a room. It's the only place in the house where they're allowed to play LEGOs, so the plastic pieces don't take over ourBLW_Two_Bacchic_Putti_Fighting living room/homeschool area. Both kids love LEGOs, but my older son likes to...

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Why We Hike

"Why do we have to do this hike?", complained my almost-eight-year-old son, his arms drooping by his sides. We had been hiking for almost two hours, had just conquered a half-mile 500-foot elevation gain, and still faced another mile uphill before reaching the summit.

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My husband, unable to stomach my son's complaints, put our younger daughter in the carrier and charged up the hill. I took a deep breath and silently asked myself, "Why do we make them hike?"

Walking beside my son at his...

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Why You NEED to Take a Day Off (Hint: It's not about self-care)

I just spent the afternoon listening to the legendary author and feminist Gloria Steinem. Among the topics she addressed was the issue of democratic heterosexual households. She argued that society has convinced us there are "male" qualities and "female" qualities. However, when we realize that the "qualities necessary to raise children - patience, nurturing, attention to detail, empathy" - are HUMAN qualities, we'll have taken the first step towards a democratic household.

Why don't many men...

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Rediscovering Motherhood

An American friend and colleague who lives in Asia recently shared with me that her in-laws had moved out of her house. They had been very involved in raising her children, so I asked if she missed having the help. She texted back, "No. I'm forced to be the mom and it's what my kids want and what family is supposed to be."

As I sat staring at her words on my screen, the last seven years of my life - my entire parenthood journey - flashed before my eyes. I remembered how both times I had a baby...

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You're Not Alone

As children, we learned to deal with our big emotions by seeing how our parents handled theirs. My mom chose the "nothing's wrong so put on a happy face" route, while my dad preferred the "slam a door and punch a hole in the wall" approach.

After trying out both strategies, I gravitated towards my dad's method. Not surprisingly, I married a lovely man who followed the approach my mom had modeled.

During the first years of both my children's lives, I fought a long and lonely battle with...

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Full Bloom

When you're pregnant, it's as if you're handed a seed of unknown origin. You put it in the soil, water it, and give it light. The first seed leaves emerge, and you feel so proud! As the first set of true leaves unfurl, you begin to imagine the possibilities. You're sure your plant will be a hydrangea, because those are your favorite plants and surely nobody would give you a seed of a plant you don't like!

But then, much to your surprise, your hydrangea begins to look more and more like a...

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My Work

As the daughter of a Buddhist and a healer, I grew up surrounded by messages of "being in the Now". But then, somehow, I became entangled inthe slimy tentacles of modern life, which seemed determined to dragme away from the present moment.

There was always something I should be doing but wasn't, because I was busy doing something else that was just as "important". If I was loading the dishwasher I was fretting about the next day's lunches. If I was working with my students I was thinking about...

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