Building Motivation from the Inside Out
Accountability and motivation are two qualities we hope to cultivate in our children, even though they rarely produce immediate, tangible results. Through the work we do with our children, our goal is to raise thoughtful, capable human beings who can navigate life with resilience. This is no small task.
When thinking about accountability and motivation, several key ideas come to mind: executive functioning, growth mindset, building a collaborative partnership, and practical ways to support accountability at home.
Executive Functioning
Executive functioning refers to a set of skills that help children plan, focus, remember instructions, and manage multiple tasks. Children are born with the potential to develop these skills, and the Montessori approach plays a key role in supporting this development. According to Harvard University, “Executive functioning skills are the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully.”
How you can support executive functioning at home:
Establish a clear and consistent daily routine.
Use checklists to help your child understand what needs to be completed each day.
Set time limits for challenging tasks; some children benefit from breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable steps.
For younger children, provide a visual schedule with pictures (first, next, then, last).
For older children, offer a personal calendar or planner to track events, classes, and assignments. Utilize a white board or chalkboard to record the plan for the day.
Growth Mindset
Psychologist Carol Dweck defines growth mindset in her book Mindset as the belief that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. Talent and intelligence are just the starting point. This mindset fosters a love of learning and the resilience needed for long-term success.
A growth mindset embraces the power of “yet” - understanding that while something may feel difficult now, improvement is always possible. In contrast, a fixed mindset assumes abilities are unchangeable. With a Montessori approach, we aim to nurture growth mindset thinking.
How you can support growth mindset at home:
Help your child understand that mistakes are a natural part of learning.
Encourage the use of “yet.” If your child says, “I can’t do this,” try adding, “yet.”
Offer descriptive praise rather than evaluative praise. For example:
“That was a heavy load—thank you for helping me carry it.”
“I notice you used many colors in your picture. Can you tell me about it?”
Read Your Fantastic, Elastic Brain: Stretch It, Shape It by JoAnn Deak.
Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS)
Ross Greene, psychologist and author of several books on child behavior, emphasizes collaboration through his belief that “kids do well if they can.” This approach encourages adults to reflect on expectations and adjust them to help children succeed.
Children have different needs. Some require more movement, others need music, and some work best in silence. Observation is key. Notice when your child works best and under what conditions. Also consider whether your expectations are reasonable and how they might be adjusted to support success.
The three CPS approaches:
Plan A: The adult directs the child on what to do and how to do it. While common, this authoritarian approach often leads to resistance or frustration.
Plan B: The child is treated as a collaborative problem solver. The process begins with empathy:
“I’ve noticed finishing tasks feels hard lately. What’s going on?”
“I’ve noticed you’re having trouble being kind to your sister. What’s up?”
After listening, the adult shares their concern (“My concern is…”) and invites the child to brainstorm solutions together. Though it takes practice, this approach builds strong partnerships.
Plan C: The adult decides to temporarily set the problem aside. Sometimes it’s better to revisit an issue later when everyone is more regulated.
There are many ways to support your child in developing intrinsic motivation and accountability. By understanding executive functioning, growth mindset, and collaborative problem-solving, you can have a deeper understanding of how to support your child as you navigate this journey together.
** Hub Members! Check out this Community Call replay for more on accountability and motivation. And for more on Growth Mindset - check out this blog post **
Resources:
Executive Function - Harvard Article
Executive Function - Child Mind Article
Growth Mindset - Carol Dweck’s TED talk
Mindset by Carol Dweck
Your Fantastic, Elastic Brain: Stretch it, Shape it by JoAnn Deak
Big Life Kids
Raising Human Beings by Ross Greene
Plan B (Ross Greene/Lives in the Balance)
