Growth Mindset: Harnessing the Power of "Yet"
Have you ever heard your child say, “I can’t do it!” Or “I’m not smart enough!” Wouldn't it be wonderful to hear instead, “I can’t do it yet and I’m going to keep trying.” Or “I know my brain can grow and learn new things. I will try again.”
These are examples of the differences between growth and fixed mindset. Understanding the difference is key in helping your child learn to persevere through challenges, see mistakes or failures as places to grow and accept suggestions or feedback and be able to move forward.
What is growth mindset?
Growth mindset is the ability to see challenges as an opportunity to grow, appreciate feedback, embrace challenges and view failure as a first attempt, not an end result. There’s flexibility and willingness to grow. It’s a continued approach of “I can do it.” (Think the Little Engine that Could).
Fixed mindset, on the other hand, is a rigid approach. The person with a fixed mindset feels that they are only good at certain things and that criticism and failure are an endpoint, not an opportunity for growth.
How can we support the development of a growth mindset?
We are all still learning and growing.
One of the most valuable pieces of advice I have heard as a parent is to help children understand that we are all still learning and growing. Life is a work in progress — it’s a journey, really. Even though we are adults, we do not have to have all of the answers. There is value in children having the chance to discover the answers for themselves (within reason, of course). Often, when a child asks me a question, I either reflect back saying, “What do you think?” or, “I’m not sure, let’s look it up!” Then, you can discover the answer together.
Even with a supportive adult, this mindset shift will be more difficult for some children. Children with learning differences such as ADHD or Autism can get stuck in more rigid thought patterns. It’s helpful to be consistent and understand that through repetition the skills will develop over time.
Montessori can be a place to cultivate a growth mindset.
The Montessori environment can support the development of a growth mindset. The child has the opportunity for autonomy and ownership of their learning. And the adult has the potential to model a healthy response to challenges.
Effort- vs. Intelligence-based praise
Another thing to consider is how we respond to the child. Effort-based praise encourages the development of a growth mindset. However, intelligence-based praise promotes a fixed mindset.
For example, let’s say a child shows you their work. You can either reply and say, “Tell me more about what you made,” or “I can see you worked really hard on this material.”
Alternatively, you can base your praise on intelligence only and say something like, “Good job! You are so smart!” Despite good intentions, the latter feels more empty, doesn’t it? It’s so much more effective to be specific and let the child know you are present/paying attention. Being present and listening with the intent to understand contributes to developing a growth mindset in your child.
Harness the power of yet.
Encouraging the child to view challenges as a good thing is a helpful step. When a child says, “I can’t do it! I’ll never be able to do that as good as them!” you could respond by adding the word “yet” -- “I hear you, you can’t do it yet; soon you will.” Harnessing the power of “yet” encourages children to persevere through the challenge and try to get better over time.
Read age-appropriate books about growth mindset.
Big Life Kids is a wonderful resource for helping children grasp the concept of growth mindset. They offer journals, a podcast and printables.
Another wonderful resource is the book “Your Fantastic Elastic Brain: Stretch It, Shape It.”
This list from Big Life Journal offers 85 suggestions for parents and children (from ages 1 to adult) to read to help gain a better understanding of a growth mindset.
We can have such an impact on how children view themselves and their abilities. Once we get into the practice of responding in ways that promote a growth mindset, we can help our children more willingly tackle challenges and continue to grow. This quote from Carol Dweck summarizes the essence of growth mindset:
“Why waste time proving over and over how great you are, when you could be getting better? Why hide deficiencies instead of overcoming them? Why look for friends or partners who will just shore up your self-esteem instead of ones who will also challenge you to grow? And why seek out the tried and true, instead of experiences that will stretch you? The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.”
Resources
Mindset by Carol S. Dweck
Whole Brain Child by Tina Payne Bryson and Daniel Siegal
