Filling the Bucket
An acquaintance recently posted this picture on his Facebook page:

Nice imagery... But how do you fill that darn bucket? Praise? Rewards? A bucket full of "good jobs", A+, and gold medals? Honestly, I don't think it's the parents' responsibility to fill the bucket. Only by letting the child fill it on his own will we ensure that it will never run dry.
The only way we can encourage the child to fill his own bucket is by giving him experiences in which he can find success. The crawling baby will feel a sense of achievement when he can get out of bed on his own; the toddler will rejoice when he spreads jelly on a piece of bread all by himself; the pre-schooler will know he's capable when he figures out how to tie his own tennis shoes; the 9-year old will understand his worth when he carries groceries for an elderly woman; the adolescent will lift his chin when he can teach his dad how to fix an engine; the young adult will feel proud when his invention touches the lives of others.
Intertwined in all these experiences are two important concepts: trusting the child and giving him freedom with responsibility. In each instance, the adult had to trust not only the child's ability, but also his capacity for problem-solving and assuming responsibility when things go wrong (and things often do when mastering a new skill). How can the pre-schooler feel successful about tying his shoelaces if we only buy him shoes with velcro (and even worse, insist on helping him with his shoes)? How can the 9-year old help an elderly person if we don't give him the skills and freedom to cross the street on his own? Should we send the motorcycle to the mechanic or trust our adolescent when he says he can fix it? Must we force the young adult to stick to the career path we think suits him best, or let him follow his heart and mind?
Praise makes the child dependent on you to fill his bucket; trust sets him free to fill it on his own.
So long as you are still worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them. Only when you require no approval from outside yourself can you own yourself. ~Neale Donald Walsch

Nice imagery... But how do you fill that darn bucket? Praise? Rewards? A bucket full of "good jobs", A+, and gold medals? Honestly, I don't think it's the parents' responsibility to fill the bucket. Only by letting the child fill it on his own will we ensure that it will never run dry.
The only way we can encourage the child to fill his own bucket is by giving him experiences in which he can find success. The crawling baby will feel a sense of achievement when he can get out of bed on his own; the toddler will rejoice when he spreads jelly on a piece of bread all by himself; the pre-schooler will know he's capable when he figures out how to tie his own tennis shoes; the 9-year old will understand his worth when he carries groceries for an elderly woman; the adolescent will lift his chin when he can teach his dad how to fix an engine; the young adult will feel proud when his invention touches the lives of others.
Intertwined in all these experiences are two important concepts: trusting the child and giving him freedom with responsibility. In each instance, the adult had to trust not only the child's ability, but also his capacity for problem-solving and assuming responsibility when things go wrong (and things often do when mastering a new skill). How can the pre-schooler feel successful about tying his shoelaces if we only buy him shoes with velcro (and even worse, insist on helping him with his shoes)? How can the 9-year old help an elderly person if we don't give him the skills and freedom to cross the street on his own? Should we send the motorcycle to the mechanic or trust our adolescent when he says he can fix it? Must we force the young adult to stick to the career path we think suits him best, or let him follow his heart and mind?
Praise makes the child dependent on you to fill his bucket; trust sets him free to fill it on his own.
So long as you are still worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them. Only when you require no approval from outside yourself can you own yourself. ~Neale Donald Walsch
Categories
- Uncategorized (111)
- Montessori Materials (30)
- development of senses (2)
- home environment (9)
- infancy (3)
- babies (60)
- birth (5)
- birthing (3)
- early childhood development (68)
- home birth (4)
- montessori (154)
- natural birth (4)
- childhood developoment (3)
- infants (24)
- newborns (7)
- parenting (96)
- Sleep (9)
- DIY (8)
- sewing (1)
- adhd (1)
- medication (1)
- psychology (2)
- interior design (3)
- crafts (7)
- education (38)
- montessori method (97)
- parents (29)
- biology (2)
- child psychology (3)
- children (61)
- michael olaf (1)
- montessori education (50)
- Science (12)
- sensitive periods (2)
- teachers (8)
- teaching (18)
- eating (10)
- food (11)
- independence (27)
- nursing (2)
- self-esteem (8)
- weaning (8)
- alternative education (7)
- early childhood education (23)
- observation (3)
- pre-school (7)
- school (5)
- culture (2)
- society (1)
- elementary education (22)
- grades (2)
- learning (6)
- public education (1)
- testing (1)
- traditional education (3)
- bedtime (2)
- kindergarten (1)
- maria montessori (29)
- finances (1)
- financial education (1)
- money (2)
- positive discipline (10)
- brain development (3)
- breastfeeding (2)
- diet (2)
- formula (3)
- Jaramillo soup (1)
- malnutrition (2)
- nutrition (5)
- pharmaceutical companies (1)
- third world countries (1)
- bottle-feeding (1)
- cooking (7)
- jaramiilo soup (1)
- sopa jaramillo (1)
- freedom (2)
- praise (1)
- responsibility (3)
- rewards (1)
- success (2)
- trust (1)
- playroom (1)
- toys (9)
- books (3)
- child development (5)
- parent education (4)
- reading (5)
- concentration (5)
- floor bed (5)
- sleeping (1)
- feeding (2)
- meals (2)
- c-section (3)
- critical thinking skills (2)
- fear (1)
- feeding solids (1)
- helicopter parents (1)
- vaccinating (1)
- vaccination (1)
- crafting (3)
- gobbi (3)
- handiwork (1)
- mobiles (3)
- sensorial (3)
- tutorial (1)
- midwifery (3)
- midwives (2)
- motherhood (8)
- embroidery (1)
- gobbi mobile (1)
- baby einstein (1)
- baby gear (1)
- educational DVD (1)
- enrichment classes (1)
- Mozart effect (1)
- Pamela Paul (1)
- parenting experts (1)
- Parenting Inc. (1)
- problem-solving (3)
- television (4)
- toy industry (1)
- silverware (1)
- spoon (1)
- beanbags (1)
- kids (6)
- birth education (2)
- infant mortality rates (1)
- labor (1)
- maternal mortality rates (1)
- pregnancy (1)
- vbac (1)
- montessori blogs (20)
- writing (6)
- movement (7)
- will power (1)
- repurposing (1)
- crawling (3)
- development (3)
- executive functions (3)
- strollers (1)
- toddlers (41)
- walking (1)
- adolescents (1)
- play (5)
- teenagers (1)
- work (4)
- google (1)
- Practical Life (25)
- home life (2)
- kitchen (1)
- pre-schoolers (13)
- sharing (1)
- waldorf (1)
- language (3)
- doctors (1)
- gynecology (1)
- medical school (1)
- ob-gyn (1)
- obstetrics (1)
- women (2)
- genius (1)
- cloth diapers (1)
- diapers (1)
- disposable diapers (1)
- potty training (6)
- toileting (4)
- Language Development (13)
- montessori activities (13)
- coordination (2)
- developmental milestone (1)
- RIE (6)
- stroller toys (1)
- alfie kohn (1)
- mistakes (1)
- schools (2)
- cultural diversity (1)
- toilet training (2)
- control (1)
- halloween (1)
- care takers (1)
- grandparents (1)
- nannies (1)
- childhood nutrition (1)
- dairy alternatives (1)
- health (1)
- seed mik (1)
- sesame milk (1)
- veganism (1)
- vegetarian (1)
- vegetarian food (1)
- communication (2)
- magda gerber (1)
- change (2)
- impulse control (1)
- limits (2)
- mealtimes (1)
- growing up (1)
- terrible twos (2)
- absorbent mind (1)
- sequences (1)
- wonder weeks (1)
- creativity (1)
- fantasy (1)
- imagination (3)
- reality (1)
- prepared environment (2)
- Technology (1)
- bathrooms (1)
- EC (1)
- elimination communication (2)
- routine (1)
- socialization (1)
- ego (1)
- montessori approach (18)
- students (1)
- free-range parenting (2)
- human tendencies (1)
- elementary school (4)
- history (5)
- discipline (3)
- self-control (2)
- nursery (1)
- cooking with kids (7)
- development of the senses (1)
- senses (2)
- time (2)
- consequences (1)
- baking (2)
- awareness (1)
- buddhism (2)
- mothering (1)
- now (1)
- parenthood (7)
- personal growth (2)
- rat race (1)
- spiritual growth (1)
- working mom (1)
- travel (1)
- travell with toddlers (1)
- throwing (1)
- holidays (2)
- art (2)
- artwork (1)
- food preparation (2)
- picky eater (2)
- toddler (1)
- cursive (1)
- Montessori Theory (27)
- On Parenting (31)
- Social and Emotional Learning (19)
- dopamine (1)
- Dr. Steven Hughes (1)
- motivation (1)
- banana bread (1)
- recipes (1)
- pi day (1)
- chores (2)
- entitlement (3)
- homeschool (14)
- preschool (3)
- summer (1)
- unschooling (5)
- botany (2)
- Favorite Books (8)
- compassionate parenting (4)
- education for peace (2)
- nonviolent communication (1)
- peace (2)
- emotional intelligence (3)
- manners (1)
- sensory processing disorder (1)
- mainstream media (1)
- star wars (1)
- violence (1)
- crochet (1)
- brene brown (2)
- depression (1)
- empathy (2)
- postpartum depression (1)
- self-regulation (2)
- fractions (1)
- math (3)
- astronomy (2)
- literature (1)
- 6 - 12 (15)
- Cosmic Education (9)
- Theory and Practice (9)
- Nature (3)
- flow (1)
- life (1)
- ocean (1)
- philosophy (1)
- self-care (1)
- walking meditation (1)
- 3 - 6 (5)
- Siblings (2)
- literacy (1)
- mindfulness (1)
- yoga (1)
- childhood development (4)
- compassion (1)
- accountability (1)
- organization (1)
- homeschooling (12)
- SAHM (1)
- self-growth (1)
- vulnerability (1)
- attachment (1)
- behavioral challenges (1)
- anxiety (1)
- museums (1)
- bubbles (1)
- fluid dynamics (1)
- STEM (1)
- Math and Geometry (2)
- geometry (1)
- democracy (1)
- equality (1)
- fatherhood (1)
- feminism (1)
- gender roles (1)
- gloria steinem (1)
- marriage (1)
- men (1)
- grit (1)
- growth mindset (1)
- hiking (1)
- natureschool (1)
- resilience (1)
- chemistry (1)
- elementary (4)
- montessori elementary (3)
- storytelling (2)
- brainstorming (1)
- rivalry (1)
- grammar (1)
4 comments
Leave a comment