Slowing Down at 500 MPH
My father-in-law has a rule: "No flying with children under 5". He was a pilot, so he should know. But, he doesn't like to fly now, so the only way for Zachary to spend time with his grandparents is for us to make the three-hour flight to Washington every summer.
If you've never flown alone with a toddler, just imagine trying to keep a child with the energy of a labrador puppy confined to a 2ft. by 2ft. seat for three hours. Now, pretend that this "puppy" can chuck crayons 12 feet in front of him. And he can demand to go "caca" repeatedly at the top of his lungs during a particularly bumpy spell of turbulence. Put all that together, and suddenly my father-in-law's rule doesn't seem so draconian.
But despite his advice, there we were, squeezed in like sardines in a can, hurtling through the air at 500mph. I had prepared several activities to keep Zachary engaged: stickers, crayons, books, snacks. I doled each item out like sips of water in a desert, trying to make the entertainment last for the duration of the flight.
When you're stuck on an airplane for several hours, you'll do anything to keep your child occupied. Watching Zach engage with the items I provided, I quickly realized that if I didn't interfere at all, Zachary would stick with each activity a lot longer than if I set a goal (such as, "Let's draw a dog!")
He seemed to have his own goals, and some of them seemed more developmental than practical. He would take his time opening the box of crayons, remove them one by one, say what color they were, and then put them all back facing the same direction. He'd spend several minutes opening and closing the food containers, peeling his boiled eggs, or trying to open his granola bar. He didn't get frustrated once, and he eventually managed to do everything he set out to do.
He didn't need tons of activities, and he didn't need me directing his work or giving him ideas on what to do. He just needed me to butt out, so that he could move at the natural pace toddlers adopt when they're focused on their work and nobody's pressuring them.
It struck me that, in our fast-paced world, even the most well-intentioned parents do things for their children that the little ones can - and should - do for themselves. Look, I know the feeling of frustration when everyone's late for school or work and your toddler is trying to put on his socks by himself. There are times when we just need to provide some help to speed up the process and just Get. On. With. It.
But what if, once a week, we instituted an "airplane day"? Heck, even an "airplane hour". A time where you and your toddler don't have to be anywhere or do anything. A time when she can take 20 minutes to put on her underwear by herself; where she can pull the dishwasher rack in and out for as long as she wants; where she can browse through your sewing basket and study all of the interesting buttons and threads you keep there.
And what can you do during this time? Slow down. Observe without hovering. Notice what you may have missed before: that your little one is an extremely capable and self-reliant human being who has her own interests and moves at her own pace.
"Respect all the reasonable forms of activity in which the child engages and try to understand them." - Maria Montessori, The Child in the Family
If you've never flown alone with a toddler, just imagine trying to keep a child with the energy of a labrador puppy confined to a 2ft. by 2ft. seat for three hours. Now, pretend that this "puppy" can chuck crayons 12 feet in front of him. And he can demand to go "caca" repeatedly at the top of his lungs during a particularly bumpy spell of turbulence. Put all that together, and suddenly my father-in-law's rule doesn't seem so draconian.
But despite his advice, there we were, squeezed in like sardines in a can, hurtling through the air at 500mph. I had prepared several activities to keep Zachary engaged: stickers, crayons, books, snacks. I doled each item out like sips of water in a desert, trying to make the entertainment last for the duration of the flight.
When you're stuck on an airplane for several hours, you'll do anything to keep your child occupied. Watching Zach engage with the items I provided, I quickly realized that if I didn't interfere at all, Zachary would stick with each activity a lot longer than if I set a goal (such as, "Let's draw a dog!")
He seemed to have his own goals, and some of them seemed more developmental than practical. He would take his time opening the box of crayons, remove them one by one, say what color they were, and then put them all back facing the same direction. He'd spend several minutes opening and closing the food containers, peeling his boiled eggs, or trying to open his granola bar. He didn't get frustrated once, and he eventually managed to do everything he set out to do.
He didn't need tons of activities, and he didn't need me directing his work or giving him ideas on what to do. He just needed me to butt out, so that he could move at the natural pace toddlers adopt when they're focused on their work and nobody's pressuring them.
It struck me that, in our fast-paced world, even the most well-intentioned parents do things for their children that the little ones can - and should - do for themselves. Look, I know the feeling of frustration when everyone's late for school or work and your toddler is trying to put on his socks by himself. There are times when we just need to provide some help to speed up the process and just Get. On. With. It.
But what if, once a week, we instituted an "airplane day"? Heck, even an "airplane hour". A time where you and your toddler don't have to be anywhere or do anything. A time when she can take 20 minutes to put on her underwear by herself; where she can pull the dishwasher rack in and out for as long as she wants; where she can browse through your sewing basket and study all of the interesting buttons and threads you keep there.
And what can you do during this time? Slow down. Observe without hovering. Notice what you may have missed before: that your little one is an extremely capable and self-reliant human being who has her own interests and moves at her own pace.
"Respect all the reasonable forms of activity in which the child engages and try to understand them." - Maria Montessori, The Child in the Family
Categories
- Uncategorized (111)
- Montessori Materials (30)
- development of senses (2)
- home environment (9)
- infancy (3)
- babies (60)
- birth (5)
- birthing (3)
- early childhood development (68)
- home birth (4)
- montessori (154)
- natural birth (4)
- childhood developoment (3)
- infants (24)
- newborns (7)
- parenting (96)
- Sleep (9)
- DIY (8)
- sewing (1)
- adhd (1)
- medication (1)
- psychology (2)
- interior design (3)
- crafts (7)
- education (38)
- montessori method (97)
- parents (29)
- biology (2)
- child psychology (3)
- children (61)
- michael olaf (1)
- montessori education (50)
- Science (12)
- sensitive periods (2)
- teachers (8)
- teaching (18)
- eating (10)
- food (11)
- independence (27)
- nursing (2)
- self-esteem (8)
- weaning (8)
- alternative education (7)
- early childhood education (23)
- observation (3)
- pre-school (7)
- school (5)
- culture (2)
- society (1)
- elementary education (22)
- grades (2)
- learning (6)
- public education (1)
- testing (1)
- traditional education (3)
- bedtime (2)
- kindergarten (1)
- maria montessori (29)
- finances (1)
- financial education (1)
- money (2)
- positive discipline (10)
- brain development (3)
- breastfeeding (2)
- diet (2)
- formula (3)
- Jaramillo soup (1)
- malnutrition (2)
- nutrition (5)
- pharmaceutical companies (1)
- third world countries (1)
- bottle-feeding (1)
- cooking (7)
- jaramiilo soup (1)
- sopa jaramillo (1)
- freedom (2)
- praise (1)
- responsibility (3)
- rewards (1)
- success (2)
- trust (1)
- playroom (1)
- toys (9)
- books (3)
- child development (5)
- parent education (4)
- reading (5)
- concentration (5)
- floor bed (5)
- sleeping (1)
- feeding (2)
- meals (2)
- c-section (3)
- critical thinking skills (2)
- fear (1)
- feeding solids (1)
- helicopter parents (1)
- vaccinating (1)
- vaccination (1)
- crafting (3)
- gobbi (3)
- handiwork (1)
- mobiles (3)
- sensorial (3)
- tutorial (1)
- midwifery (3)
- midwives (2)
- motherhood (8)
- embroidery (1)
- gobbi mobile (1)
- baby einstein (1)
- baby gear (1)
- educational DVD (1)
- enrichment classes (1)
- Mozart effect (1)
- Pamela Paul (1)
- parenting experts (1)
- Parenting Inc. (1)
- problem-solving (3)
- television (4)
- toy industry (1)
- silverware (1)
- spoon (1)
- beanbags (1)
- kids (6)
- birth education (2)
- infant mortality rates (1)
- labor (1)
- maternal mortality rates (1)
- pregnancy (1)
- vbac (1)
- montessori blogs (20)
- writing (6)
- movement (7)
- will power (1)
- repurposing (1)
- crawling (3)
- development (3)
- executive functions (3)
- strollers (1)
- toddlers (41)
- walking (1)
- adolescents (1)
- play (5)
- teenagers (1)
- work (4)
- google (1)
- Practical Life (25)
- home life (2)
- kitchen (1)
- pre-schoolers (13)
- sharing (1)
- waldorf (1)
- language (3)
- doctors (1)
- gynecology (1)
- medical school (1)
- ob-gyn (1)
- obstetrics (1)
- women (2)
- genius (1)
- cloth diapers (1)
- diapers (1)
- disposable diapers (1)
- potty training (6)
- toileting (4)
- Language Development (13)
- montessori activities (13)
- coordination (2)
- developmental milestone (1)
- RIE (6)
- stroller toys (1)
- alfie kohn (1)
- mistakes (1)
- schools (2)
- cultural diversity (1)
- toilet training (2)
- control (1)
- halloween (1)
- care takers (1)
- grandparents (1)
- nannies (1)
- childhood nutrition (1)
- dairy alternatives (1)
- health (1)
- seed mik (1)
- sesame milk (1)
- veganism (1)
- vegetarian (1)
- vegetarian food (1)
- communication (2)
- magda gerber (1)
- change (2)
- impulse control (1)
- limits (2)
- mealtimes (1)
- growing up (1)
- terrible twos (2)
- absorbent mind (1)
- sequences (1)
- wonder weeks (1)
- creativity (1)
- fantasy (1)
- imagination (3)
- reality (1)
- prepared environment (2)
- Technology (1)
- bathrooms (1)
- EC (1)
- elimination communication (2)
- routine (1)
- socialization (1)
- ego (1)
- montessori approach (18)
- students (1)
- free-range parenting (2)
- human tendencies (1)
- elementary school (4)
- history (5)
- discipline (3)
- self-control (2)
- nursery (1)
- cooking with kids (7)
- development of the senses (1)
- senses (2)
- time (2)
- consequences (1)
- baking (2)
- awareness (1)
- buddhism (2)
- mothering (1)
- now (1)
- parenthood (7)
- personal growth (2)
- rat race (1)
- spiritual growth (1)
- working mom (1)
- travel (1)
- travell with toddlers (1)
- throwing (1)
- holidays (2)
- art (2)
- artwork (1)
- food preparation (2)
- picky eater (2)
- toddler (1)
- cursive (1)
- Montessori Theory (27)
- On Parenting (31)
- Social and Emotional Learning (19)
- dopamine (1)
- Dr. Steven Hughes (1)
- motivation (1)
- banana bread (1)
- recipes (1)
- pi day (1)
- chores (2)
- entitlement (3)
- homeschool (14)
- preschool (3)
- summer (1)
- unschooling (5)
- botany (2)
- Favorite Books (8)
- compassionate parenting (4)
- education for peace (2)
- nonviolent communication (1)
- peace (2)
- emotional intelligence (3)
- manners (1)
- sensory processing disorder (1)
- mainstream media (1)
- star wars (1)
- violence (1)
- crochet (1)
- brene brown (2)
- depression (1)
- empathy (2)
- postpartum depression (1)
- self-regulation (2)
- fractions (1)
- math (3)
- astronomy (2)
- literature (1)
- 6 - 12 (15)
- Cosmic Education (9)
- Theory and Practice (9)
- Nature (3)
- flow (1)
- life (1)
- ocean (1)
- philosophy (1)
- self-care (1)
- walking meditation (1)
- 3 - 6 (5)
- Siblings (2)
- literacy (1)
- mindfulness (1)
- yoga (1)
- childhood development (4)
- compassion (1)
- accountability (1)
- organization (1)
- homeschooling (12)
- SAHM (1)
- self-growth (1)
- vulnerability (1)
- attachment (1)
- behavioral challenges (1)
- anxiety (1)
- museums (1)
- bubbles (1)
- fluid dynamics (1)
- STEM (1)
- Math and Geometry (2)
- geometry (1)
- democracy (1)
- equality (1)
- fatherhood (1)
- feminism (1)
- gender roles (1)
- gloria steinem (1)
- marriage (1)
- men (1)
- grit (1)
- growth mindset (1)
- hiking (1)
- natureschool (1)
- resilience (1)
- chemistry (1)
- elementary (4)
- montessori elementary (3)
- storytelling (2)
- brainstorming (1)
- rivalry (1)
- grammar (1)
1 comment
Leave a comment