Laughing In Her Sleep


Ever since I can remember, my dreams have revolved around anger. I dream about standing up to the bullies in my life, loudly saying no, and asserting my needs.

Ever since I can remember, during waking hours I do the opposite. I’m the good girl, conditioned to fit in, play nice, and get along.

When I was two years old, a child psychologist told my mom that my crying spells were attempts at manipulation. Whenever I cried or got angry, she was to send me to my room. She eagerly followed his advice and I grew up with two mantras: “Crying doesn’t solve anything” and “Don’t get angry.”

I now have a seven-year-old daughter. She has a fiery temper that often segues into tears. Her big emotions have triggered me more times than I can count, so I tried every tactic I learned from my mom to tame her.

Thankfully, I failed.

After seven years of being her mom, and lots of work healing my childhood wounds, her anger only occasionally triggers me now. I know it means her boundaries aren’t being respected, and I work with her to acknowledge her feelings, articulate her needs, and find productive solutions.

Ever since I can remember, during waking hours my daughter has had a fiery temper.

And ever since I can remember, my daughter has laughed in her sleep... Sweet belly laughs that jiggle the bed and heal my soul.

I can only imagine what she’s dreaming about, but I know for sure what I dream for her…

I dream that life will never break her spirit. I dream that she’ll continue to harness her warrior cry and use it to stand up for what’s right in her world.

And I dream that she’ll forever laugh in her sleep.

1 comment

Carl David Laster

I’m so sorry your Mom listened to the Dr and stifled you. I’m glad you learned from her mistake and are allowing your daughter the freedom to express herself. 💕💕

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