On Sowing and Reaping
During my first years of motherhood, when I couldn’t even keep a houseplant alive due to the overwhelm of raising babies, I envied my mother-in-law’s garden. In her front yard she grew luscious berries and vegetables, and the most stunning flowers. During a visit to her house, while bouncing a baby on one hip and keeping a sleep-deprived eye on a clumsy toddler, I bemoaned my inability to grow basil in a pot - let alone nurture a thriving garden.
In her quiet and unassuming way, my mother-in-law replied: “You know, my garden didn’t look like this when I was busy with babies.”
With those words, she gave me the permission I needed to accept - and even embrace - that chaotic, exhausting, and formative season of my life. She taught me to manage my expectations and gave me hope that one day, my season of sowing would turn into a season of reaping.
Now I counsel mothers of young children who, like the old me, want what lays ahead of them to materialize right now. They’re in their season of sowing, which is a hard, thankless, and relentless season. I’m entering my season of reaping, as one child steps into adolescence with confidence and determination, and another revels in the golden period of middle childhood.
The reaping years are a sweet, sweet season - but only because I leaned into the discomfort of the sowing years. Unbeknownst to me, softening into that first season of motherhood taught me what I needed to know, and needed to do, to increase the probability of a “good harvest.”
Just like the farmer labors in the field, we mothers labor within our families. In my case, leaning into the discomfort of the sowing years looked and felt like:
Slowing down and accepting that my value wasn’t in doing everything society expected of me, but in being present for what truly mattered to us as a family
Navigating my childhood wounds and creating new beliefs from a place of maturity and agency
Learning to love my Self so that I could have an overflowing cup of love to pour into my children
Accepting that setting and holding limits and boundaries is the highest form of respect that you can demonstrate to yourself and give to your loved ones
There’s a bountiful harvest waiting to be enjoyed if you’re willing to plant the seeds and tend to them with consistency and faith. What does leaning into the discomfort of the sowing years look like to you?
